It’s so easy to look at someone and make a judgment. The habit of finding fault and reprimanding is so deep-rooted in us that I decided I will try to bite my tongue when impatient words come. John Wanamaker, founder of the American stores that bear his name, once confessed, “I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen it fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.” Seldom do people criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.There you are, human nature in action. Wrongdoers blaming everybody but themselves. We have all contributed to this and sometimes we need to sit down and evaluate our own actions.
Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, arouses resentment, and impairs all their further usefulness. It is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. Now you know why bashing Trump won’t help us at all. Instead, we will keep running to check his tweets. What do you expect anyway? I don’t know much about politics but the point here is that the person you condemn will probably justify him/herself and condemn you in return.
Sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility. If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism, no matter how certain we are that it is justified. When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
It takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they decided to follow a certain path. That’s a lot more profitable than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.
“To know all is to forgive all, ” as Dr.Johnson said. “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days, why should you and I?”
Source: Best selling author, Dale Carnegie.
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