Fred Okengo Matiang’i is the current Cabinet Secretary for the Ministry of Education, Science and Technology in Kenya. He is highly praised by Kenyan citizens for being a hard worker who delivered on his mandate and tough assignment. This made me thinking it could be as a result of having good self confidence, hence my topic today.
Where does self confidence come from? Many of us believe that it comes from achievements, doing so well and having people praise you. But if that is the case, why do we still have people we consider successful, extremely beautiful or handsome yet beneath all this they still feel crappy about themselves? Often times, people who receive the most compliments are the most lacking in self confidence.
This is because the source of self confidence is not what we think. It radiates from our self esteem. Self esteem is what you think about yourself. This means that it cannot be generated; it comes from you. Low self esteem is obtained through compliments from and comparison with others. Real self confidence is achieved when you decide as a person to do the right thing even when you don’t feel like it or even when it is not convenient. It doesn’t matter what you have going on in your life, it doesn’t matter the praise you received. If you are not happy with the decisions you have made or maybe you have taken someone’s else path, you have done everything you had to do to be successful and have achieved it by people’s standards and not by your own, you will lack self esteem and your self confidence will suffer as a result.
High self esteem does not compare with others. People with high self esteem do not weigh who is in the room to determine how they feel. People with high self esteem do not depend on people’s compliments to feel better about themselves and do not feel less when the compliments are not forthcoming. People with high self esteem compare their achievements with themselves. They strive to be better than they were before. They derive their fulfillment from doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
Today have a meeting with yourself and discover where you derive your self confidence. Is it a temporary source or a permanent source? Have you been bringing people down to feel better about yourself? Have you been comparing yourself to others to feel good? You can start writing down your new source of self confidence and let’s meet at the top!
Thank you for reading.